It's too perfect not to be a joke. Look at the details on the presentation, how the percentages don't add up, the misspellings that have obviously been overwritten, the anthropomorphic flowers. She also has the biggest grin on her face for the first minute or so.

She's pretty good though, I had to watch it three times before I was sure.

I honestly think she's for real. I can't pinpoint why, I just do.

And by real, I mean real bat-shit.

I'm torn. This is so stupid it has to be fake. But when she mentioned needing crystals to bless the air, I could picture being at my mother-in-law's house, as my wife scowls at jars labelled "Bangkok" and "Serengeti" and "Machu Picchu," listening to a simplified version of this sales pitch as she (my mother-in-law) tries to explain how relaxing this air is and how the energy fills her home and how it's super healthy and all-natural and great for your body and mind and spirit.

Those jars would sit on a shelf next to a dreamcatcher, seventeen crystals, a little Buddha, a soapstone crucifix, Tibetan prayer flags, and a vial of Dead Sea water.

It seems like she starts to almost break into laugh at the greenhouse part, but other than that it's a totally believable act. I'm not sure if it's funnier as an act or as reality, but I know it's funny.

WRONG. She, and her fucking tree, are from CALIFORNIA, BITCH.

*****

They are letting anyone in there these days, as long as they talk like this girl.

I can't wait till Felisa Wolfe Simon's is up...