Five for the strange, almost Bladerunner-esque music.

So one of these finally made it through.

evil of banality never rates five

Five for I had a Yorkie for a few years when I was growing up.

Alone in the valley of the Multicolored Orbs, Toy sat, cold and weak. But he was not afraid, for he had faith. Faith in the tales his elders had told of the Deliverer, that singular being who would come forth and bring freedom to all those trapped within the chaotic realm of the Orbs. The only one who could brave their fury, and their madness.

Just then, the Orbs began to stir, and then, in an instant, the darkness shattered, as light streamed in where it had once been blocked by the Orbs. And before him, moving the fearful Orbs aside as if they were nothing, stood Kevin the Yorkie.

"At least!" cried Toy,"the prophecy has been fulfilled!"

K-9 Mark Zero

drawing restraint

HOORAY FOR YORKIES, the Chris-Chan of dogs. Once they fixate on a specific toy, it's all over. You'll never hear the end of the squeaking. As a Yorkie owner, this obsessive quality is their weirdest trait.

Watching this on silent, whilst listening to an ambient Aphex Twin remix of a Nine Inch Nails song turns the escapade into a curiously industrial-punk, apocalyptic, haunting epic in which the dog later dies of injuries and mercury poisoning.

Just to put it all in context.

While part of me wants to jam a broom handle into its ass and mop the floor, the other half of me is overjoyed by this video.

This is a metaphor for how the ancient Greeks conceived of atomic physics.

These dogs were originally bred to catch rats, so it was very important that they be a lot cuter than rats. We should release packs of toy Yorkies to roam the streets and keep us safe.