Pffft! I prefer to stand outside of college campuses with my cardboard 'Looking for a Boyfriend-Free Girl' sign.

The fact that his prop girl stands around bored and uncomfortable throughout most of the video - that's a good sign, right?

Remember to have facial hair that resembles the pubes of the girl you're picking up on.

HAHAHAHA THAT RHINO JOKE IS A KILLER!

Seriously, who uses this shit thinking it works?

So the whole trick is to actually introduce yourself? Well. I'll be a son-of-a-bitch.

"Hello, can I fuck you?" is a good in between alternative.

Almost a decade of lurking here now, and these, are STARZ. Bravo!

Wait, should I also dress in a blouse that is the same color that the chick I am hitting on is wearing? What if the bar I'm in doesn't have a rhino head on the wall, but just neon bar signs and such?

That collar.

This cannot be real, and yet, there it is: expertvillage

Also, is a "soul patch" one of those Hitler-mustache-goatees?

"On behalf of Expert Village.com, I'm here today to unintentionally show you how to get the occasional pitty-fuck."

Not the best tactic, but you have to admit, the man has it down to a science. The awkwardness, the pasty skin, the complete and utter lack of anything you could call shoulders, the unkempt "soul patch" that he's clearly been desperately cultivating since 10th grade. He's clearly spent time on his hair, and yet it still looks like that. And the collar. Good lord, that collar. Nothing says "I can't even take care of myself" like the inability to iron a fucking shirt.

He's demonstrating comedy, I'll give him that.