He could've played guitar better than Hendrix.
He could've told the future.
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world.
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky.
He could've danced better than Barishnikov.
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of.
Jesus was way cool.
What's sad is something like this would be forwarded to me by email the second my grandparents found it. Thankfully they don't have the internet.
I also can imagine that this guy thought he had an ace in the hole with his monologue - yet is so full of faith and religion that he cannot see the glaring holes in his argument.
Hey everybody you know something this guy kind of sounds like someone took all the periods and commas and question marks out of a paragraph and he didn't even notice because he's so fucking tweaked right now I mean high on life and by life I mean JESUS who is like the central character in Lord of the Rings he's like five Supermans and also Batgirl no wait not Batgirl because Jesus ain't no sissy no sir he's the most famous guy ever and you'd better get on board the Jesus train because it's leaving the station and your soul is already on board and it's destination Al Gore's house or something did I also mention that Jesus wasn't just a good man or wise teacher hell no because good men and wise teachers are fucking gay nope Jesus was a crazy kung-fu rock star who bitchslapped the moon and if you think you're not going to hell right this very second then you sir are sorely oh god what the crap I can't feel anything in the right side of my body what
The video posters comment on his video (presumably a reply)
There is more evidence for the life and miracles of Jesus than there is that George Washington was our first president. Do you disbelieve George Washington is our first president?
I've heard that one quite a few times. Like... has anyone ever produced anything to kind-of sort-of substantiate that claim? I mean, it's obviously bullshit because there's kind of a lot of evidence that George Washington was the first (proper) President! And the evidence for the Jesus of the Bible has seemed, I don't know, a little scattershod at best? I think someone read that in a Chick Tract or something like it this one time and it's been transmitted by Christian Apologetics like a game of Telephone.
The camera man aping the spontaneous handheld feel of sports photography and documentary journalism, with all the sloppy pop zooms and pans and totally missing the mark at making this seem spontaneous and kinetic is a PERFECT garnish to his flaccid rant that comes off as rehearsed and forced.
This video is a FANTASTIC example of Christianists' obsession with the aesthetics of popular media and complete ineptitude at emulating it.
I don't agree. i think he's done a great job at creating a fresh take on the age-old revival preacher's rap. There are only so many ways of saying something, so many ways of using the camera. You're not the audience he's trying to impress.
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