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Comment count is 41
The Townleybomb - 2009-12-04

There are people out there who put this much effort into masturbation? Seriously?


godot - 2009-12-04

Designed by a former NASA engineer. This is why we're not on Mars.


cognitivedissonance - 2009-12-04

WE WILL NOT REST UNTIL THE FEMALE HALF OF THE SPECIES KNOWS WHAT THEIR ENTIRE PURPOSE IN LIFE IS.


OxygenThief - 2009-12-04

Grab it in your hand and get angry with it like a normal person you fucking freaks.


Time Travel Mishap - 2009-12-04

TELEDILDONICS


Smellvin - 2009-12-04

I don't get it. Is this just a bigger, American version of the Japanese penis blender chafe-machine?


Smellvin - 2009-12-04

Ugh. Nevermind. I looked it up. This is 50x worse than the Japanese thing.


Severian - 2009-12-04

Hmm. Needs the Model F if it wants to compete with FUFME. http://www.welookdoyou.com/fufme/index.shtml.html


Hooker - 2009-12-04

I'm glad I'm not the only one that remembers the Fu-Fme.


Syd Midnight - 2009-12-04

That was on PoE Red circa 2002. Don't forget to click on "(click here to see images)" to see the best part of that website.


kiint - 2009-12-04

just save some money and stick your cock in the floppy drive


Frank Rizzo - 2009-12-04

dont forget the required dongle!!


pastorofmuppets - 2009-12-04

There's a "floppy cock" joke in there somewhere but I'll be damned if I can find it.


Enjoy - 2009-12-04

My biggest problem with this is that they had to bridge between USB and Serial. Why not just make a USB device? I suspect Russian programmers had something to do with this. They love their serial ports.


theSnake - 2009-12-04

The amperage provided by the USB interface is definitely not enough to power a device like this, and having only one cable running into it probably greatly simplified the design. Also, the USB interface currently has no locking mechanism, whereas serial cables have simple thumbscrews to prevent the cable from dislodging during a vigorous JO session.


Enjoy - 2009-12-04

Granted. And I don't want to get into the merits of one JO architecture versus another but if the motor is already powered, why not use USB only for control?

Wireless would be an even better solution considering the user might be fully mobile in his basement. Of course a real enthusiast might replace the belt of a treadmill with an animal fur and let it go at 12mph.


theSnake - 2009-12-04

USB is unreliable for industrial applications IMO, but foremost I found it not easy to program. I don't actually know how to write code to directly control something connected by USB. I looked into it once for a project but went with serial. Serial device communications became standard (aka free) in Visual Studio 05 I believe.

Perhaps someone with more USB expertise can enlighten us how a USB masturbation interface would be programmmed.


Witty_Pop_Culture_Reference - 2009-12-04

One time I kissed a girl and my knuckles brushed up against her under boob through her sweater.


Konversekid - 2009-12-04

Stars are yours Witty.


pastorofmuppets - 2009-12-04

For USB, you have to write a driver first. I suppose you could consider that the foreplay.

(all my stars for "soft skin-like interior" and the accompanying shot of something a factory worker could lose his hand to)


mashedtater - 2009-12-05

if i could witty, i would feed you these stars like grapes


mouser - 2009-12-04

I love how the male hand model has a wedding ring.


SteamPoweredKleenex - 2009-12-04

Who else but a married person would be so starved for sex?


Sick Man - 2009-12-04

apparently this thing is all about selling the proprietary porn used to "control" it.


Sudan no1 - 2009-12-04

now that is sleazy.


Robert DeNegro - 2009-12-04

SFW, yet so NSFW


Robert DeNegro - 2009-12-04

Plus, the towel adds a nice touch.


The Mothership - 2009-12-04

Yes, I laughed hardest at the towel.


Baby Finster - 2009-12-04

In an earlier version, it showed the man laying out an 8-foot dropcloth around his computer.


Phil - 2009-12-04

Finally I can marry my computer!


MrBuddy - 2009-12-04

Announcer: I'm not reading this... it's gross!
Producer: [pounds fist on table, yell] You signed the contract, you read the script!


hornung - 2009-12-04

voice-over lady didn't sound embarrassed, that is total professionalism that we can all learn from.


The Great Mel Bay - 2011-07-17

are you kidding me, she never has to spread her legs again now. Just has to remind the guy "You should have thought about that before you spent all that money to fuck a power sander"


Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2009-12-04

So, uh, how much does it cost?


pastorofmuppets - 2009-12-04

I feel bad for the future archeologist who will find the fossilized DV tape of this and assume it was government-issue. Damn that President Lawnmower Man and Chief Justice Judge Dredd!


Jeff Fries - 2009-12-05

Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free


B_Ko - 2009-12-08

Isn't it the other way around?


Senator_Unger - 2009-12-05

I'd rather make out with my Monroe-bot.


pastorofmuppets - 2009-12-05

This thing is more like Crushinator.


MurgatroidMendelbaum - 2010-06-19

Very good. You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. With it, you can create your own portals. These inter-dimensional gates have proven to be completely safe. The device, however, has not. Do not touch the operational end of the device. Do not look directly at the operational end of the device. Do not submerge the device in liquid, even partially. Most importantly, under no circumstances should you-


notascientist - 2010-06-20

Rule: do not put penis into something which you have to plug in.


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