and seconds later Captain K'Nuckles here was dead of a heart attack

He could have just left his shirt and rolled away. It's not like having his shirt would give him his dignity back.

I'm doing this a lot more than I'm comfortable with, but I just cannot think of anything but ":D" at this video.

We need Busted Shoplifter Week.

What a proud moment for him and his family.

Yakity Sax? and I like the casual onlooker satisfied by the situation enough to saunter over to getting his items bagged.

"Blubberfly" (his boxing name) probably wont get charged, or it won't stick as he never actually left the store with any pocketed goods. My internet lawyer bill is in the mail.

A million stars.

Hurray for the people helping out too.

Actually that was just his personal trainer trying to keep him on his diet.

Goddamnit, I wish the store where I worked had a security system that wasn't cheap and ancient, otherwise I"d be all over getting videos like this off of it.

It still uses 3.5 floppies for fuck sake.

Hiiiiiiiiii folks, fatman here!

The cartoonishly shifty way he walks into the store is worth 5 stars on its own.