Perhaps the young lady could look where she's walking.

Do you want the shoe back?
Fuck no I dont want the shoe back, its been marinating in sewage, you moron.

VICTIM

Not so much.

WHAT THE FUCK
I WAS WALKING ALONG AND THIS LAMP POST POPS OUT OF NOWHERE AND BRAINS ME ON THE HEAD
PAY MY MEDICAL BILLS

So she was dumb for text-walking. But the city workers clearly fucked up by opening the cover and then walking away from it. Lawsuit-worthy? Maybe.

Stop giving your spawn stripper names yall.

Alright fellas give it up, now up next on the main stage is Alexaaaaa. *Pour Some Sugar on Me starts playing*

This is you, isn't it TeenerTot.

How long would this girl last in a rain forest?

Civilization is supposed to protect us from natural selection. This creates a stupid, but cheerful, populace. These people failed to save her from herself, which is socially irresponsible.

I know another hole that's dark and smelly!

...

You guys can fill in the rest.

Perhaps she should go wash up.

You know, however much I want to make fun of her and her mom, they are right: the cones should have been out there first.

Heaven knows if there had been orange cones to protect her that giant, gaping black maw of the sewer hadn't opened to swallow her into its stomach full of our raw sewage. Those cones would have seen her coming and said, "Look out miss or the sewer will eat you!"

I like how fake sad the announcer is able to make himself sound. That is some quality acting right there.

I hope next time she texts herself into something even more dangerous.

You know, there's only one accent in the world that I really, honestly fucking hate. All NEW YAWKERS MUST DIE.

She managed four texts before being pulled up from the sewer.

MEDICAL BILLS ARE MOUNTING AND SHE HAS LOST A SHOE

Extra stars for having the most unattractive accent in the world.

If I'm reading a book and I walk into an open manhole, it's no fucking issue: I'm to fault. I should have been watching where I was walking, because walking down the fucking road without looking is fucking stupid. Orange cones or not: if I'm pottering along the road and fall into an OPEN SEWER because I'm more interested in Prof Snape, I was injured by my own conceit. I chose to be willfully blind in an environment of speeding cars, cracked pavements and holes in the goddamn ground.

This girl does the exact same thing and it's an INTER-GENERATIONAL ISSUE because it wasn't a book, it was KID'S TECH.

That's stupid. She acted stupidly, the city workers stepped away from the hole for a few seconds and now she wants big money pay-outs.

I hope she gets a really important text on a farm. WASN'T MY FAULT I WALKED INTO BARBED WIRE, THERE SHOULDA BIN CONES.

Leave it to local news to take the fun out of what should be a joyous event. An event deserving of celebration.

Needs Schadenfreude tag

Well the comments here played out pretty much how I would have expected them to.

I respect any technological revolution that makes the news sound more like cartoons.