I was going to quote that exact thing. In fact, I thought I had, but I guess I forgot. Anyway, that alone is worth this clips 5 stars. -1 for twilight.

That's fucked up math. FIVE STARS but minus one because MST3K is reviewing a bad movie.

Congratulations, you've created irony.

Seriously, you want them to give Citizen Kain the treatment? MST3K = bad movie. Where have you been?

i just really really hate twilight, and the fact that it exists. any reminders thereof, even parody or mockery, is painful to me. SO SUE ME.

ACTUALLY, I'd kinda love it if they gave Citizen Kane the treatment. I'm eagerly awaiting the rifftrax on Twilight.

According to the YouTube description, someone just used the RiffTrax track and added a silhouette to it, which explains why it's Nelson/Corbett/Murphy and why the shadows don't move.

According to Corbett, it's in the works.

It's various clips from Rifftrax and MST3K sound clips on Twilight. I think it's a pretty good job.

I am Jack's bilious hatred for Jim Mallon.

No, no. You see, the book is set in Forks, Washington, which is the cloudiest North American city or something dumb like that and is also a complete shit-hole which the author did not bother to research before she set her lame book there.

Also, these vampires don't melt in the sun. They sparkle.

You think I'm kidding?

The author did not bother to research vampires. She did not research any of the monsters she used.

Seriously? Motherfucking SPARKLES? This book gives twee and precious entirely new meanings, doesn't it?

These vampires are made of diamond. They're not like, regular undead guys with a blood fetish. They're rock vampires.