I wouldn't exactly call this mundane.

close enough

Does it matter? It's all one homogenous, gelatinous audio lump.

cabinet/coffee table/whatever

I did the same thing, but punched the wall next to my bed.

me too, but replace "coffee table" with "girlfriend's face"

There was one time, when I was roommates with my younger brother, and we were living in a small apartment, where I woke up because I heard him slam the door. Now, I was working nights, and he worked days, and I woke up going "what the hell's his problem?" It was about time for me to wake up anyway, as he'd just come home from work.

I went about my business that afternoon, didn't see much of my brother, had dinner, got ready for work, and before I left, I caught up with him and asked him if he had a bad day at work or if someone had done something to upset him, because I was sure I heard him slam the door earlier. He told me "Yeah, man! You cussed me the fuck out earlier!" Naturally, I was confused, so I asked "What do you mean? "and he replied "I JUST walked in the door, and you go 'What the fuck do you want, bitch?' and I was like '...Excuse me?' and you said 'I SAID, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, BITCH?' and I was so mad, I wanted to knock you out, man, so I just got the fuck out of there." and then I had to apologize profusely, and explain how sometimes I talk to people in my sleep and I'm not always kind, but it's not really "ME" and I'm not sure what it is, but it's not my conscious self talking to people, and sometimes I even do worse, like wake up swinging at people if they touch me in my sleep, I had to tell him about the one time I almost kicked our mom in the face when she woke me up years before this and again, had to apologize to her, too. I still don't know to this day what flavor of crazy my brother thinks I am, but he's been known to sleepwalk so he can't say much, at least not on that issue.

Actually, this dog is having a seizure.
I present to you, exhibit B: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-0dzKH1Rfs&NR=1

The comments on that video disagree with you, James.

Depressingly funny.

I'm guessing that they were video-taping his insane sleep-running but that the whole disoriented wall-banging was as much of a surprise for the cameraman as it was for Bizkit.

It's the dog equivalent of "No, not the clown suit!"

he's a dog

That's a tail.

Actually, all mammals experience sexual arousal in dream states, even during nightmares, all the time. Nobody knows why.

that dog is a girl

That's no moon. It's a space station.

that's not even a dog

It was a slow burn for you to get to this comment, but it was worth it.

Well, to be fair his time machine was stuck in the future.