I am shocked and disgusted.

Honey, I wanna eat your Cookie Puss all night long.

They oughta have the Diabetes Fairy as a mascot, who touches the cake with a wand and goes 'Whee!'

when do you want it for?

JUST LIKE NOW AND SHIT

that's the most romantic ice cream commercial tune I've ever heard

I like the cake with the large, foreshortened black penis on it.

I ate zatojones' cookie puss. No lie.

A couple years ago I went to a Carvel in Times Square and got a coffee. There was something really off about the coffee, and I took a whiff and noted that the milk was pretty badly turned. About twenty minutes I had to leave work. I was so dizzy I couldn't even talk to my boss.
The subway ride was a nightmare of demonic faces and twisted guts. The moment I got out of the drain I projective vomited and then went to a bar bathroom where I proceeded to expunge every piece of matter in my digestive system from every orifice available. I felt very bad for the bar staff.

So that's my Carvel experience.

There's just something magical about DelVal commercials from the 70s and 80s.

That shield is the most austere-looking logo I have ever seen for a company that makes ice creamy treats to put smiles on peoples' faces. It doesn't look like something that should be associated with ice cream. It looks like it should be the logo for a company that processes standardized test scores.

Adding the right amount of pink and red to Cookie Puss makes him look offensively sexual.

CONTEXTLESS ICE CREAM BASED CAKE EATING

'Dealer'. Your Carvel 'dealer'.

There is something so soulless and austere about their brand that can only be further enhanced by this choice of word.