I can blissfully say I've avoided this movie my entire 33-year-old life..

I met someone through my girlfriend who showed us "eight crazy nights" while telling me it's the greatest movie of all time.

It was really convenient because I knew from that point onward to disregard his opinions on absolutely everything.

That's a good move.

And yet I quote exactly this (the “turtle turtle” part from the trailers) and alarming amount...

I didn't actually know about that. Was it cosmetic or something else?

Did he pull an Erin Gray?

from Wikipedia: "In 1997, Carvey underwent heart bypass surgery for a blocked coronary artery, but the surgeon operated on the wrong artery. The blocked artery was deeply buried in muscle and thus hard to find; another artery, though not blocked, was clearly accessible; so the surgeon mistakenly performed the bypass on this unblocked artery. Carvey, later suffering from angina pectoris, sued for medical malpractice and was awarded $8 million in damages. He donated the money to charity.[27][28] He has had to undergo additional surgery to correct his heart problems.[29] He told Newsday that, while he was in the hospital for his final angioplasty, Frank Sinatra died in the room adjacent to his.[15]"

"He donated the money to charity."

Alright so that's pretty great

Monday Night Raw?

I've got May 13, And I intend to have it handy in case anyone bitches about "Legally Blonde".

Go ahead. Make my day.

Has anyone ever made it all the way through a brilliant comedy without crashing and burning horribly, usually for years? The Dana Carvey show was great. I think Chevy Chase's brilliant first (and only) season on SNL has had a huge influence on male American comedians in the last part of the twentieth century. And that alone has contributed to the sheer carnage of American comedy.