Star Wars, Disney and political metaphor.

I have not the slightest idea how to rate this.

As a kid who never got to go to Disneyland/World (Enchanted Forest in Salem Oregon 4 life bitches!) this makes me wanna go; even when I was a kid I thought Disneyland was kind of a pussyfest, the rides not as fast as Six Flags and dorky princes and princesses running about.. the Star Wars stuff, while kid-friendly I'm sure, also appeals to the adult in me that says "Whaaaa? They made a new Star Wars? Already?"

Yes, and it's the old Star Wars! Again! If you missed it the first time... (Spoiler Alert: The Death Star gets blown up at the end!!!!)

..And hey, how 'bout that nutty Star Wars Bar,
Can you forget all those crazy creatures in there?
And hey, Darth Vader in his black and evil mask,
Did he scare you as much as he scared me?

Resolved: Star Wars- The Force Awakens is the worst one yet.

Go.

It really is, though. TFA is an objectively better film than any of the Prequel titles, but ultimately, that just means it is less interesting. I'd take a glorious, mind-blowing failure like Phantom Menace over a generic Hollywood soft-reboot like TFA any day of the Galatic Standard Week.

Every horrible moment of Phantom Menace is forever burned in my mind whether I want it there or not, but I've already forgotten 95% of what happened in TFA.

It's just like that "MemberBerries" thing on South Park. It felt like fan service, fixing the probles of the Prequels by taking the lazy way out, which frankly felt like a screenplay that anybody who'd seen the original trilogy would've come up with.

But I'm a little optimistic about these Star Warses, as maybe it means Shadows of the Empire could be a thing some day. Shadows is easily the best thing in the Star Wars universe: Dash Rendar is cool like 10K Hans Solos and all we saw out of it were some shitty micro machines and an equally shitty N64 game. Floodgates are open, nerds! Get a' writin'!

rated R.

IZ: You don't go to Disney for thrills. You go for the elaborate theming, top notch customer service and atmosphere. It is a different reality. Every time I go I think I'll be let down and I never am.

Cheney is obviously Palpatine.

Obama was Jar Jar. Trump is Watto, Ivanka is Rey, and Steve Mnuchin is Nute Gunray. Palpatine is either David Rockefeller, George Soros, or one of the Koch brothers, you can take your pick.