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Comment count is 26
memedumpster - 2014-06-01

This is a family Christmas movie, but it isn't animated, or have talking animals, and I don't see tons of Christmas stuff and Christmas songs.

This doesn't look bad.


subduralhematoma - 2014-06-01

Yeah but....Cameron Diaz...


themilkshark - 2014-06-01

I think Ms. Diaz looks like a fun milf in this trailer. She's still pretty bangable.


memedumpster - 2014-06-01

My taste in movies could be getting senile, I almost went and saw Maleficent today.


Adham Nu'man - 2014-06-01

I don't know, when a movie trailer starts with a pop culture reference I think it still qualifies as shit.

I think your mind has just been fucked up by the endless barrage of shit that hollywood has become that when you see a turd that isn't covered in boiling pus and puke then you start thinking "hey this might be good".

It has happened to me as well...


BHWW - 2014-06-01

For a second I thought Jerri Blank was a character in this film for some reason, then I realized it was Cameron Diaz.


Jet Bin Fever - 2014-06-01

You call Amy Sedaris "Jerri Blank" still? Philistine. She's a multi-talented actress.


infinite zest - 2014-06-01

She'll always be Jerri Blank to me; that's really not a bad thing. Kind of like Bryan Cranston/Walter White. Also not a bad thing. Did you know he's on broadway portraying LBJ?

Also this doesn't look horrible for a movie I'll never see.


Bort - 2014-06-01

This looks bad, but let's keep it in perspective. The original comic strip ended nearly four years ago, and here's how it ended:

http://comicsalliance.com/little-orphan-annie-ending/

"After tumbling to the passport plot, Annie gets kidnapped by gangsters, because getting kidnapped by gangsters is pretty much what she does. Said gangsters are murderous enough to bludgeon a man to death right there underneath the Jumble…which doesn’t give anyone much hope for Annie’s chances of survival.

Things seem so hopeless, in fact, that the police spend a Sunday strip informing Daddy Warbucks that his adopted daughter has most likely been shot in the head execution style and fed to sharks. Really.

If the cancellation order had come down a week sooner, a gang of frenzied sharks circling Annie’s waterlogged remains would’ve been the very last image of her, but instead, the story does go on for another week, where we learn that Annie wasn’t killed, she was rescued from the gangsters by a renegade war criminal named The Butcher of the Balkans.

Thus, in the final strip, Annie has been kidnapped by a literal genocidal maniac, while Daddy Warbucks zones out, convinced that she has been murdered but unaware that she is still alive and in need of rescue ..."


memedumpster - 2014-06-01

...

What!?

No, really.

What!?

Did R. Crumb write this comic?


Bort - 2014-06-01

It got even stranger a few years before that, with an Amazonian tribe that had come to revere the exploits of a hero from a comic strip. The leader of the tribe wore the stereotypical mask and native dress, but in reality he had been educated in the U.S. and wanted nothing more than to live in Wisconsin again. Meanwhile, the writer of the comic strip in question had been E-Mailing with a now-destitute African prince in need of money, but Annie warned him about the dangers of Internet scams, so when the aforementioned tribal leader showed up on the cartoonist's door step, there was a big misunderstanding. That's by no means the whole of the story, but that's what I recall.


Xenocide - 2014-06-01

Also, one of the last villains of the strip was an effete drug smuggler who, halfway through the storyline, gets hit on the head and becomes transsexual.


Caminante Nocturno - 2014-06-01

It's a real shame that more people know about Annie from the shitty, annoying musical than the actual comic strip.


Seven Arts/H8 Red - 2014-06-01

Jay Maeder wrote the strip in those final years. I honestly miss that period of Little Orphan Annie. His strips read like an overwrought parody of the Harold Gray and Leonard Starr eras, but in the "fuck this, most newspapers dropped Annie, so let's go nuts on the cross-dressing Satanist/Martian Queen-type elements" fashion.

The cross-dressing Satanist/Martian Queen, by the way, was part of Annie's late 2004-early 2005 storyline. There's an ebook covering the storyline (http://www.rabbitholecomics.com/annie), put out by Annie's syndicator. That would seem weird, except this is the same comic that was Harold Gray's soapbox to fight back against the evils of FDR.


Xenocide - 2014-06-01

The most beautifully shameless political storyline in comics history. "The New Deal KILLED DADDY WARBUCKS!"


Bort - 2014-06-02

Here, I found the start of that Amazon storyline I was talking about:

http://www.gocomics.com/annie/2008/03/23

They spend a few weeks bemoaning a poor underappreciated cartoonist who is working on a decades-old forgotten comic strip. Then the Amazon natives show up:

http://www.gocomics.com/annie/2008/04/10


Scrimmjob - 2014-06-02

Thanks for the link, I am really enjoying the monthly "Funky watch" feature on that site!


Bort - 2014-06-18

NEWS FLASH! None other than Dick Tracy is on the case of the missing Annie:

http://comicsalliance.com/dick-tracy-little-orphan-annie-cliff hanger-comic-strip/


Xenocide - 2014-06-01

The day after Annie sang her famous song, there was a total solar eclipse which lasted 24 hours. No one trusts Annie anymore.


Bort - 2014-06-01

In Arlen TX, the lyrics are a little different:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc-099OMn3E


undecided - 2014-06-01

This actually looks like it may not be that bad.


Pope Caius - 2014-06-01

This is probably going to turn out to be incredibly okayish and receive generally positive reviews calling it "wholesome" and then no one will remember it in years to come.

But hey, the dog is cute.


Rodents of Unusual Size - 2014-06-01

"I know your secret"

I can't be the only one to think for a split second it was going to be that Jamie Foxx was totally gay.

Starring in a musical sort of seals the deal.


dairyqueenlatifah - 2014-06-01

Meh, there's a list of other celebrities now that have been saying he's a closet case for years, including women he dated in the past.


Rodents of Unusual Size - 2014-06-02

He is sort of the black Kevin Spacey


SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-06-02

Complaints abounded when the first movie came out that it wasn't enough like the play or something.

I had the misfortune of seeing the play a few years ago. Anyone who hates this version for any reason, I challenge you to go see the "original" in a theater. It's FUCKING BOOOORING. Just about ANYTHING that can get added to the narrative is a bonus.


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