This killing style wouldn't be accepted in MMA competition because it doesn't _belong_ in MMA competition!

Make her sign a blood oath, man. It's the only way.

No martial art exists that is capable of these things. Also, stop massaging your daughter's shoulders because it's weirding me out.

That poor poor girl...

Oh, and stars for the ninjers tag. I think I might be in love with you, OZ.

"This is my property. " -Father

"I am undateable and the moment I leave the parents for college I am going to get into an abusive relationship."
-Daughter

I feel like we should be contacting authorities or something.

Have authorities been contacted?

This is the same fuckface with the Perfect Business Card, right?

I feel suuuuuper bad for that girl.

We should have a "daddy issues" tag if we don't already.

Why does his "other daughter" come last in that list?

This guy is so much like my dad (Tennis coach and "motivational speaker") that it's amazing. Arg, parental shame.