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Desc:Someone feels these are the most enticing parts of this movie.
Category:Trailers, Advertisements
Tags:awful, horrible, I actually miss twilight now
Submitted:RocketBlender
Date:12/30/13
Views:2946
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Comment count is 12
SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-12-30

Much like how you can tell something is going to appeal to a certain demographic that thinks Twilight was deeply moving and that actual horror stories are "icky," you just have to look for a few signs:

Teenage female protagonist? Check.
The word "half" appearing in her description? Check.
She's got a pretentious "whatevarr" attitude? Check.
Neutered monster archetype? Check.
A stand-in for high school as a setting? Check.

Of course, I could be giving them too much credit for following a formula. They could've just taken a book series that shamelessly decided to mash together Buffy the Vampire Slayer with Harry Potter for all I know.


Callamon - 2013-12-30

I still want to whack off to these hot bitches; probably catch it on Netflix.


Nikon - 2013-12-31

Lesbians and vampiresses go together like peanut butter and chocolate.


Gmork - 2013-12-30

Giving a girl a gun or vampiric powers is the only way you can have them be action heroes. Sorry, ladies.


EvilHomer - 2013-12-30

Mean Girls was a really good movie, so to hell with all of you.


EvilHomer - 2013-12-30

Also, apparently this movie is written by the screenwriter from Demolition Man, Batman Returns, and Hudson Hawk. That's a pretty solid camp pedigree.


BHWW - 2013-12-30

This whole paranormal romance/Twilight knockoff sub-genre is fad...that has proven to have the tenacity of a cockroach. Soon all books on the shelves will be about vampire and witch and werewolf academies and halter-top wearing tuff chicks who are witches or vampires or bounty hunters who fight crime with the help of their pansexual wereleopard orgy partners.


SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-12-30

It was already headed that way. Romance novels are basically about where sci-fi/horror/fantasy was in the 90's, but with less violence and plot.

I figured it was inevitable. There's only so many books that even the bodice-ripper market can take that are yet another costume drama, Hallmark movie (with sex), or contrived love triangle set in the real world. God help us if they glom onto cyberpunk or stuff like the Illuminatus books.


SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-12-30

You're leaving out the important cross-breeding, BHWW. The books will be about half-vampire half-werewolf half-demon half-angel half-witch half-fairy half-ghost half-elf half-god bounty hunters who fight crime with the help of their pansexual wereleopard orgy partners.


StanleyPain - 2013-12-31

Actually, this series and most other teen vampire garbage pre-dates Twilight, it's just that Twilight (which was the actual derivative shit) managed to snag the spotlight first.


snothouse - 2013-12-30

The only thing worse than Ellen Page is an Ellen Page impersonator.


dairyqueenlatifah - 2013-12-30

They've shown this trailer before the last three movies I went and saw, and each time you could hear a pin drop in the theater afterward.


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