I'm pretty sure he's a troll. He doesn't know what brand? He doesn't even know if he wants wings?

"Twin Dorrance #5X stainless Steel Hooks" comes to mind.

He smells "fishy" to me too. The second point really required a detailed backstory and none was forthcoming. Has our newest star already crashed and burned on the slippery slopes of Post Modernism?

FRAUD! Disposable feminine pads have several practical uses. For instance, they can be kept in a first aid kit as an emergency compress bandage to staunch the bleeding from a laceration or puncture wound. A *true* Maxipadkin would aspire to save a life, not simply protect a pair of underwear. He's a bad pad.

If you're going to troll him, take that angle.

If this dude is a troll, I have to admire the dedication required to purchase that many maxi pads.