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Comment count is 36
Knuckles - 2011-10-11

I think the fact that she uses a Macbook and a Zune is pretty much all you need to know about her. It's like she's a compass that always points to the exact wrong decision.


misterbuns - 2011-10-11

Utterly banal, but that Thing Musical really made reconsider how I rate these.

Man, I feel sorry for any guy who makes the mistake of wanting to fuck her.


charmlessman - 2011-10-11

I would.

Would I date her? Ehhhh...


Meerkat - 2011-10-11

Does she have a pulse?

Then shut the fuck up.


misterbuns - 2011-10-11

STR8 MASC TOP
NO FATS NO FEMS NO AZNZ NO KISSING.


Jericho - 2011-10-11

i actually know this girl. she's about as interesting in real life as you might suspect but she's twenty so whatever.


EvilHomer - 2011-10-11

Is she single? Can I have her number?


HarrietTubmanPI - 2011-10-11

She's young and immature. She's rotting her teeth out. She can't sing. She has no rhythm. Just about the only redeeming quality I can find is that she can't stand Star Wars.


EvilHomer - 2011-10-11

Every girl I've ever had a serious relationship with has been either bipolar, agoraphobic, asexual, a fairykin, an Objectivist, a WoW player, or blind. I long ago accepted the fact that crazies are my type, and there's nothing I can do about it.


bongoprophet - 2011-10-11

stars for EvilHomer's honesty


Wonko the Sane - 2011-10-11

Ah yes, the well know mental disorder of blindness.


RocketBlender - 2011-10-11

Dude, trust me, you don't want to date this girl. She's just going to ignore your calls for hours because she was in a raid, and when you do manage to spend time with her, she'll randomly act like a weeaboo in public, screaming "I love you gamestop!" at every one you walk by, or literally dance and butt in to every conversation she overhears about any game, even with total strangers, she overhears. If you're lucky, it will just embarrass you, but more likely than not some other desperate loser will decide then and there that she's their dream girl and do their best to impress her with his knowledge of the backstory between Zelda games or the Final Fantasy fanfic they wrote, and how he's much better suited for her than her asshole boyfriend who didn't want to visit the same gamestop a third time in the same mall trip, and you'll get to tell them off, get kicked out of the store, and wait outside 40 minutes for her to decide she's ready to leave the store too.

She will have of nintendo merch when she does though, since you wouldn't have been there to stop her. If you're lucky, one of her new admirers got it for her along with their number, but more likely than not it was your money. "Oh they're just being nice, it's like gifts on WoW." she'll say. "they just want to be friends, people don't see a girl gamer every day." As you wonder if she's even slightly loyal.

Eventually you'll decide you want your life back. As you dump her, she'll tell you how you don't matter anyway, because she met someone on a fanfiction website. He actually read her fanfics about Sephiroth's teen years and sexual conquests, and think's she's SO talented, where you never appreciated her in the first place. And you won't give a shit, because at least you didn't have to listen to her cry for a week, and both you and your wallet are finally free.


HarrietTubmanPI - 2011-10-11

If you have to pay for a girlfriend you're doing it wrong.


RocketBlender - 2011-10-11

I know that now, but at the time I didn't think much of it. I was 20, going to college, and had a TON of disposable income, since I had a job and doing 2 hours of RA work a week meant a free dorm room. It's not like I was just handing her cash, it was more like she'd ask me for a game for us to 'play together' and I'd fall for it because I though dating a gamer would be the best thing ever, or helping her pay for her WoW account when her parents cut her off. (I should have taken that as a red flag, she told me it was because they were' paying for games now that she was a college student, the truth was her grades were shit, found that out just before I decided I had enough.)

Anyway, that was my stupid 20-something mistake, and man did I learn a lot from it, aside from the obvious "stay the fuck away from grrl gamers' idealism.


Anaxagoras - 2011-10-11

Wait... that story was auto-biographical? I thought it was just a joke story.

To paraphrase somebody-or-other: "Truth can be funnier than fiction."


RocketBlender - 2011-10-11

I wish it wasn't. She didn't seem like such a bad nerd when we first met, but it didn't take too long for me to realize that as nerdy as I was, I found her untouchably geeky. That whole story unfolded over around 3 and a half months.


CrimsonHyperSloth - 2012-03-20

These are sorrow stars for RocketBlender. Some how missed this the first time or the singing induced a memory-erasing aneurysm.

I know I'm posting after the fact but his tale is something I keep in the back of my head. I always figured a girl into video games would be great, but from every tale I've heard I'm glad the women I found isn't. It's worked out for the best that way.


spikestoyiu - 2011-10-11

I made it precisely nine seconds.


joelkazoo - 2011-10-11

Five seconds for me.


Chancho - 2011-10-11

Ten seconds for me. It still hurts.


StanleyPain - 2011-10-11

Those original flavor green Monsters have, like, 45 grams of sugar in them, each can.
Just sayin'


Cena_mark - 2011-10-11

I hate nerds so much.


jimmicampkin - 2011-10-11

People in glass houses...


Rudy - 2011-10-11

Oh man, when she drew a mustache on her finger and put it under her nose I just lost it! I mean, WHO DOES THAT????


jimmicampkin - 2011-10-11

I made it through the first ten seconds with my teeth clenched before going into a safety mode whereupon all non-essential functions were shut down. I don't remember much after that.


memedumpster - 2011-10-11

Hipster gang sign.


RocketBlender - 2011-10-11

Christ.

Candlejack, we were just talking about girls like this. Un-fucking-datable.


Candlejackv616 - 2012-11-09

Lol just seeing this comment/vid now, and it really is funny how "careful what you wish for" can be so damn true. Also these stars are for you sir, "3 and a half months", you deserve 5 stars for each month you put up with that.


MrBuddy - 2011-10-11

I think she has her own cuteness.


Burnov - 2011-10-11

You guys know what "NFG" stands for right?


joelkazoo - 2011-10-16

National Fuel Gas Company? What's that have to do with anything?


Adham Nu'man - 2011-10-11

She's like an infected wart on Mass Consumerism's pus riddled asshole.
She should marry that pamperchu furry and then somebody should ship them both off to Somaliland for their honeymoon.


Burnov - 2011-10-11

Dude, pamperchu is gay and is in a serious relationship with a man who has a hilarious moustache.


Adham Nu'man - 2011-10-12

Yeah, I know, but their obsession for stupid shit unites them beyond sexual identity.


Old_Zircon - 2012-01-24

8 seconds


That guy - 2014-05-04

I made it to the mustache-finger!!


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