Needs some sort of "fat people" tag. You know... for the people whose panniculus (panniculii????) prevents them from bending over and touching their toes.
Isn't it excruciatingly hard to do the basic things in life? Sure, we all do. Luckily, there is a product that fits the active lifestyles of amorphous blobs such as yourself. Yes, it does all this and more! But that's not all! Buy one now, and we'll double your shipping and handling charges! Call now! Operators are standing by, smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee.