If you ask me, the best/worst part is the opening. There's some asshole from space cops there, who tells her she isn't welcome, and to leave. She decides to be defiant and stay, despite his orders, even though she's a bounty hunter and isn't being paid for this shit. She also decides that she's not going to use any bombs, missiles, armor, etc until the guy who doesn't want her to be there authorizes them.

This trend continues for the entire game. He doesn't authorize you to turn on your heat shields until you nearly die in 2 heated rooms and scale an active volcano from the inside (yes, there's a volcano in the space station. As well as cyberpunk forests, dessert, and an arctic waste land. I'd hate to be on their horticulture team.

(spoilers if you give a shit) Late in the game it's suggested he may be a traitor, and after that he dies, and Samus still doesn't use the shit he hasn't authorized yet, like the better armor with gravity shields. She finally decides it might be okay to turn those on as she's getting sucked out into space.

I could go on, but you get the idea.

Jesus. That... that's almost as bad as Fusion. Actually, it might be worse.

I'd call it worse. At least in Fushion you weren't hanging on to everything, forcing yourself not to use it out of respect for a corpse.

Speaking of said corpse, remember Adam, the annoying computer that told you exactly where to go in Fusion, made from the brain of a dead officer or some shit? Same guy.

The asshole that won't authorize shit for you is the guy that gets made into the computer brain. Apparently when you outright disobey the space cops and blow a part of a space station to hell, they scrape of what they can of your brain and immortalize you in a computer because you're so valuable or some shit, then pair you off with tho only person they know of to have an extremely unprofessional relationship with you. Good going, space cops.

I couldn't decide hot to feel about it. I started by hating it because of the 'authorization' bullshit, but after a while, when I started backtracking and hunting for items, it started to feel really fun and what I wanted out of a Metroid. Then we got to this cutscene, and it ended after 6 hours, leaving me overall terribly disappointed.

Does it really take a nerd to recognize this as awful?

No. It really doesn't. And hell, it has nothing to do with the fact they gave her a personality or undid fanfics. Okay, it might for some people. The problem is the personality and cutscenes they gave her are complete garbage.

How does Super Mario feel about never having reconciled with his late father?

Can Donkey King ever learn to trust again after returning home from work early walking in on Diddy and Funky?

Kirby's spraypaint-huffing is rapidly spiraling out of control.

Is this really a hard concept for so many people?


1. You don't have to be a weeabo to dislike terrible things.

2. Stories are fine, but if they're going to be this nails on the chalkboard terrible, just don't bother and leave it out entirely.

It's such a spectacle since they took a platforming game series with zero story and suddenly decided that it needed 15 minute cutscenes of generic anime bloo bloo bloo. It's like they DID make a Mario game about daddy issues.

It is decidedly un-nerd to hate videogame stories, they just distract from the gameplay. Hell, I thought Metroid Prime 2 had too much story.

No one said weeaboo but you, Fabio. Fancy that.

The difference between this and the Mario thing is that Metroid has been flirting with a serious plotline since pretty much day one, complete with each game building into a larger timeline (which, unlike the Zeldas, actually makes some damn sense.) Whereas Mario and Kirby have never given a shit about plotlines and are pure gameplay with intentionally shallow cartoon people. Metroid with a plot is something that was bound to happen sooner or later.

My point is, the game that happens inbetween those scenes is being forgotten because people are too busy fixating on OH MAN DID YOU HEAR WHAT SAMUS JUST SAID. And that's a shame, because the game itself is great, and takes more risks (most of which pay off) than almost any sequel I've ever seen. And in an industry built on annual rehashed sequels, that's something we should be encouraging.

It's not like the "standards" of story telling in the industry are that high. When something like Uncharted 2 is considered "the best" of what video games can do in terms of stories it goes without saying that we are not sailing in a sea of quality of story telling.

Also, at the end of the day fans just want more of the same, all the time. They will always reject changes, be good or bad.

"The difference between this and the Mario thing is that Metroid has been flirting with a serious plotline since pretty much day one, complete with each game building into a larger timeline (which, unlike the Zeldas..."

SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP

Actually, Luigi is the one with Daddy issues, as anyone who played through the Paper Mario series recalls.

Reading Luigi's delusional diary made me cry.

Mass Effect has a great fucking story, shit, they have great stories for every little ball of dirt planet, technology and gun in their game.

From what I've seen, the "personality" was a bunch of spergs who have never spoken to a woman looking up "female" in the dictionary and deciding a female is kinda like a person except its major concerns are pleasing big strong men and having babies and icky ovary stuff. So its Japanese, but not necessarily so.

Or you could just enjoy the game and not give a shit.

unskippable cutscenes

Normally I wouldn't give a care, but the cutscenes are very badly done. The people responsible are actually striving for something more than mere bland filler and fall really short of the goal. Bland filler would have been preferable and easily ignored - this blah-blah-babies-Samus-Aran's-a-loose-cannon storyline is kind of a drag on an otherwise OK game.

Prime 3 was a great game bogged down by an overwrought and poorly acted story, and a couple useless gimmicks that somewhat overshadowed the traditional gameplay elements -- the ones that made the other Metroid games great.

It looks like this game took up everything bad about Prime 3 and discarded the rest.

If you think Xenosaga has the worst writing in a video game, I have some tri-Ace RPGs to show you.

Please.... please don't.

Infinite undiscovery? End of Eternity? Surprise me sir, i have seen the eyes of the beast too many times.

Star Ocean 3 for starters

Ah yes, well, here's the thing. Star Ocean is a dumb matrix-esque mess, but Xenosaga is not just poorly written, is ten times more pretentious. It thinks it's telling the most complex and ellaborated psycho-religious-spiritual story the world has ever seen. I can tolerate crappy pulp fantasy nonesense, but crap that takes itself way too seriously? It's the worst kind of crap.

Also, the only thing I really am curious about is why is Other M the title. It's a really bad title. Could anyone tell me?

It's an anagram of mother and Metroid: Other M acyonymized is MOM also THE BABY and the villain was Motherbrain reincarnated into a human woman. Basically, Sakamoto read a book on symbolism and didn't understand a lick of it.

Wow. Just wow.

When it first came out, I joked to friends that "Other M" was probably future space slang for the menses. Then I actually played the game and realized my dumb jab was classier than the actual writing.