Portal of Horror. Shit yourself scary.

pink dot ftw

So how easy is it to just put up a pink dot on your mailbox? Slavery at least means somebody's going to CARE if I live or not, since apparently the ruling overlords at the moment obviously don't.

Change all instances of 2008 to 2010 and Bush/Cheney to Obama and it's indistinguishable from the tea party movement last week, this week, and every other fucking week until 2012 rolls around and they take a few weeks off the conspiracy theory routine to tell us how the world is ending. God bless America.

Man, I wish solving the unemployment problem was as easy as just having the government hire enough people to guard 50-million new political prisoners. Wishful thinking, though.

I wanna go get some dot stickers.
Then open a gun store.

I just ran out of my house (praise God) and checked my mailbox for dots.

No dots yet, but there's a beehive underneath it. A GOVERNMENT beehive, no doubt. I think it signifies that they're going to put me in a secret lab where they'll work night and day trying to harvest my sweet, sweet honey.

Oh government, baby, all you've gotta do is ask.

If you get a purple dot, buy as many cats as you can. It's really difficult to explain why. You're just going to have to trust me when I say the more cats you have, the better.

Hmm... wouldn't a computer list on some government mainframe buried in the basement of the evil conspiracy group's basement be more secretive than sending out agents to tag mailboxes with coloured dots? Wouldn't it be a heck of a lot cheaper too?

Oh, the conspiracy guys are overconfident, right right.... Seriously, the conspiracy these guys believe in has to be the most egotistical, worst at keeping secrets, inefficient, and outright bold. You'd think they mail conspiracy nuts their pamplets or something.

"We love activists"

Funny I never heard them say that between 2000 and 2008. In fact, I used to hear the exact opposite.

I guess the government ran out of colored dot stickers, because all I'm seeing on my mailbox is Lisa Frank.

I love this shit. A white, rural audience is probably the last demographic that actually even HAS a traditional "mail box" let alone checks them or thinks they're important.

What about the millions of urban folks who live downtown? I would love to walk that fat fuck through my apartment lobby and ask him where the stickers are.

5 stars because they all ran home to furiously check their mailboxes.

Green Dot - Hold mail. Recipient is on vacation.
Red Dot - Kill mail recipient.
Orange Dot - Mail recipient has requested mail forwarding.
Blue Dot - Take mail recipient to FEMA deathcamp.
Purple Dot - Vacant property, no recipients.
Pink Dot - Mail recipient will make a good slave.
Yellow Dot - Asians.

MORE DOTS MORE DOTS HIT IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT