That's what made me vote it out of the hopper.

That's great. I'm glad you kept in touch with the old gang.
The Winton Road Taco Bell store # 1755 never got together for our 20th reunion so I don't know what happened to the guy who used to drive across the river to pretend to be gay and pick up men to beat them up and leave them in rural Kentucky.

I'm fine. Thanks for asking, Horn! How are you and yours?

I seriously want to get a subscription to my hometown newspaper for schadenfreude purposes, except that I get a nosebleed every time I look at the letters to the editor.

My mom has an rss feed for the town's papers she grew up in.
Then she tells me stories about people I don't know.

No, but we're all smart enough to find minimum wage jobs that don't involve getting constantly burned with fryolator grease.

It's the irony that your future at McDonalds only looks bright when you end up someplace else, according to McD's own advertisement.

They never advertise their food as "the best food in the world" either. Most of us had their food and would immediately notice the difference between the ad and reality. That's why they will never advertise a McJob as "the best job there is". I think they prefer the "you could do worse" approach.

Also: future grandmother!