Now this is a product I can relate to.

We used to joke at school about ICI advertising horrific things in this manner - vitriolic drain cleaner and radium based toothpaste and the like.

Until recently the local dentist still had a vaguely unsettling framed advert for ICI white dental filling material, making chemistry seem vague and toxic and very big.

hint: you've never seen fabrics in those colors or patterns because they are UGLY

Fabricators now open in Pod D, next to Arcade!

5 stars for that guy's mustache.

That man has got what we do not.
What he has
is a polka-dot ascot.

Sounds like a the choral version of the Renown jingle in the background.