Don't try to upstage Glenn Beck at his own gimmick.

Rush, Bill and the whole gang occasionally do these little reveals, just to sort of wink at you and confirm what you already know: they are actors, not journalists.

Can you find me the part in Constitution that says they can take away our freedom to get sick and pay lots for shitty coverage. No? I didn't think so.

Ok, I came back because I'll be that guy.

No, Massa!

"America, I'm gonna shoot straight with ya.

Please don't stop paying attention to me. I can be just as crazy as Eric. Watch! Tomorrow I'll come in with a bunch of random words on chalkboards and arrange them to spell an acronym for "Hitler" and hold it up as proof that Obama is actually a talking dog in a clever disguise. Just watch! I can out-crazy anyone! You know I can! Oh, God, wait, come back, no, don't switch over to Nancy Grace, she's not nearly the lunatic I am! No please do-"

"....AND UP NEXT ON NANCY GRACE, ARE THERE ANY RAPE VICTIMS LEFT IN AMERICA WHO WE HAVEN'T EXPLOITED YET? PLUS, TODAY'S VIDEO GAMES: ARE THEY CAPABLE OF RAPE? WHICH ONE OF YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE FIRST? WE'LL TELL YOU AFTER THIS."

what the fuck

Conservatives had hopes that the now-former Democratic congressman from Upstate New York, who resigned abruptly under an ethics cloud, would deliver the goods about corruption and strong-arm tactics in the Obama White House and Congress. But instead, Massa served up an icky new confession.

"Now they're saying I groped a male staffer," he volunteered. "Yeah, I did. Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn't breathe and then four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday."

"America, I'm gonna shoot straight with ya. I think I've wasted you time."

I'm just going to stop there and pretend he means his entire career.

Beautifully crazy.