Seriously, who thought this was a good idea? At least the insanely catchy chorus from the original remains relatively unscathed...

Five stars for awful, of course.

Apparently Africa has a lot fewer black women in it than one might imagine.

Oh fuck. This is

Ugh

I guess the rains in White South Africa (with tourists)

this is felony level abuse of autotune

3 stars because it's half awful half banal

No stars. In infuriating waste of 1:07 of my life.

Come for the bikini butts. Leave for a remake of a song that sucked to begin with.

I didn't watch this with the sound on, because I'm assuming it's a Toto cover.

-2 for not enough women in bikinis. Seriously, if I wanted to see Powder I'd rent the movie Powder.

Not enough asses, too much fatty in football jersey. Still five-starred for pure, undiluted evil.

Also: this is going to be this year's "Call On Me," isn't it? Can you imagine the level of sheer artistic bankruptcy it takes to aspire to be Eric fucking Prydz?

Whuss poppin'