The coveted UL listing...fuck I want that listing soo bad!

Incidentally, these guys are probably Beachy Amish. They're Amish, but they're pretty goddamned liberal as the Amish go - These are pretty much the guys who worship in the old ways and don't have TVs or telephones, but drive black cars and shop at Wal-Mart.

In keeping with their rejection of modern technology, the Amish have abandoned fire in favor of an electric heater with a TV in it.

The mantles are only 0

Honey, do you want to fuck in front of the Amish portable fireplace?

It is guaranteed to short out, catch fire, and destroy all of my sinful modern accoutrements. I'VE READ YOUR BOOK, YOU MAGNIFICENT AMISH BASTARDS.

Hey science people, isn't it practically impossible to make a heater that *isn't* 100% efficient?

My favorite part is how they imply that the Amish themselves are offering a money-back guarantee, and as a matter of pride.

also why do the Amish give a fuck how many i have per householc?

I have an electric fireplace insert, like this minus the wood case. I put it in a real fireplace that I don't want to burn stuff in for fear of a chimney fire (the chimney being very old, unlined, and in need of repairs... I closed it off with insulation to stop heat loss up the flue).

In addition to being a heater, it has a fairly realistic flame. Inside are two 60-watt candelabra-base bulbs shining on a rotating cylindrical "brush" whose bristles are Mylar-like reflectors attached to a 10 rpm electric motor. This flickering light is thrown onto the back of a partially-silvered mirror with flame-shapes on it, which sits behind the fake logs. The fake logs have tiny red reflectors on them to make them appear glowing. Overall, the whole effect is very believable, especially behind a fireplace screen.

To complete the illusion, I burn campfire-scented incense and also have a little electronic box running called "The Crackler" that produces random popping sounds.