I remember those things, they were... amazing. Not only is it a terrible vanilla pudding pie, it's covered in a very thick coating of neon-green frosting.

So it's like a Hostess pie, but even more disgusting.

Truth in advertising

Not food.

Oh wow, I loved these when I was a kid. And Ecto Cooler Hi-C.

We made these pies with the same weapons we use to hurt people.

I know i want to eat food that was prepared fresh in the sewers!

I remember when the youth of America were in the grip of Turtlemania.

It was a dark time.

Green poops are from the sewers.

What makes this truly horrid is that it's an actual product that someone actually thought would be delicious. At some point, an actual homo sapiens sat down and thought to himself "Hey, you know what I could go for? A Hostess vanilla cream pie soaked in sugary green goop like some kind of Cthulhoid candy apple. That'd be great!"

I remember these being good. I was also a fat kid.

I WANT TO EAT A TURDLE

Not enough has been said of their proud boast that these pies are "filled with mutogen goo."

You know, I love those ridiculously sugary death-pods known as Hostess fruit pies, and even I wouldn't eat these. And, strangely, I also don't remember them, despite having grown up right smack dab in the middle of Turtledom.


FOLLOW YOUR HEEEEAAARRRRT. FOLLOW YOUR HEEEAAARRRT.

I have a feeling that if I had ever eaten these things, parts of them would still be in my appendix.

There was a time when I could go from waking up to going to bed without touching a single thing that didn't have Michaelangelo's face on it.

Not QUITE as vile as the Totino's TMNT pizzas, which came with a small package of candy (jelly beans, gummi worms, etc.) to put on your pizza. Nobody ever did.

The Turtles really sold out. This is around the time I stopped following their work.

I was apparently the only child who actually loved these things, though they were a rare treat (as my parents were far smarter than I.) I can't remember if I actually liked the taste, or just the fact that Donatello was on the package.