They call him 4F Ferdinand The Frantic Freak
He's got a face like a fish, and two flat feet
He's a flippant as a frog
Fat as a hog
Fickle as a female flirting in a fog
He could fade in a flash
Man, they made him 4F in the draft

4F Ferdie was a fighting fool
But he fought with only girls in the grammar school
The only 1A class he ever made
Was the one in the very first grade
And in this grade he always stayed
From the very first grade he never strayed
Man he liked it, that's right, got along with the teacher and everything

He's got epileptic fits, a very bad rash
Now he's 4F Ferdinand in the draft
They made him change his grade to 4
Now he's in 1A no more
But he's married to the teacher and they're doing fine [in the video he says, "doing great"]
Cause he's 4F and she's 69, [in the video he says "she's 88"]

They got two kids and they're sure a mess
Now he's the father of two 4F's
So if they ever have to change his class
Man, they'll make him 8F in the draft
I hear he's living down in the Village on Greenwich Street
4F Ferdinand, The Frantic Freak
4F Ferdinand, The Frantic Freak
He's doing all reet.
Well all reet