Someone needs to edit all of the porn out of porn movies and just leave the "story." If this scene is any indication, some of them would be quite amusing.

"From Davey Jones' locker I stab at thee" has made my day.

I like to think that this was written by a failed English major who is forced to write porn to feed himself.

This was the best movie of 2005.

Much better than Porn Trek: The Next Penetration.

"I SHIT MY PANTS!"

Woo, hero of the day!

That hero is the Bruce Campbell of the porn world.

So was this softcore or hardcore?

"She's coming up on our port?"
" How do you know that?"
" Beacuse the previous shot just showed us right next to the other ship. "
"Okay! Let's continue to look through our spyglasses at him while he's right next to us!"
Hooray for continuitiy!

I love how they had cannon problems. A cannon just requires gunpowder and something to shoot... how can they have what sounds like repeated problems with their cannons not working?

This makes porn fun again.

It's nice to see porn stars having fun. yeah. I thought the secret plan would involve blowjobs. oh well.

Heh..awesome.

Brief little LJ: When this movie came out, the buyers for the video store where I worked apparently thought it was a legitimate, normal straight to video movie, so we put up, like, 2 fixtures worth on the new release wall, even though it seemed obvious this was, at minimum, softcore porn (we were unaware it was hardcore).
Needless to say, in the days after it's release, scores of families were coming in pretty pissed off. It came down soon afterwards.
And, no, it wasn't the R-rated version we received.

Yeah i remember this. Man they hyped the fuck out it with promises of "exciting swordsfights" and "a real soundtrack composed by a philharmonic orchestra". I guess a whole career spent in porn is an instant insurance that any real movie you make after that, ANY real movie cannot suck.

Also, yes Wu.. fuck.. haha.. shit.. hahaha.

I find the CGI here really impressive. It looks great for a guy fooling around in 3DS Max.

This movie was one of our top rentals when I was still at the porn shop. Evan Stone, the man described by FABIO2 as the Bruce Campbell of the porn world, takes himself about this seriously in most of the movies I've seen him in. For a porn movie, the production value is phenomenal. The success of Pirates has spurred companies on to bigger and better things-- Eden and Upload are both worth checking out.

Also, Jesse Jane is amazing to watch, but she really ought to keep her mouth shut unless there's a cock going in.

For a porno, that's some seriously high quality. You're lucky they don't just have a guy in rags getting blown in a rowboat.

I'm a little surprised, since until the end I wasn't at all sure how the setup would lead to sex.

Wu, you gonna fix those fucking cannons or what?!

keep...coming...ass...pirate.

"They're rea-dyyy!"

"What?"

Wasn't this one of the most expensive pornos ever produced?

startlingly ugly lead

The candle scene to this movie is, in my opinion, one of the hottest porn scenes ever shot.

Lots of great lines in such a tiny clip.

In my quest for porn I came across a sci-fi porno done by the same crew, "Space Nuts". It's the same kind of genuine hilarity, like a Troma movie except with lots of explicit sex. I approve of this direction.

That's the FUN part of sailing!

EVAN STONEEEEE

Nobody was on anybody's port side here. Well except at the end. -1 star!

I'm getting a boat.

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