Yeah, man. The Vice-President's been put in charge of the Committee on Destroying the Stability of Earth while the President argues on the phone with his brother about stealing his Sega Saturn. But I'm 19, I'm at home from college, I'm on my parents' couch and I've had waaaayy too much Mountain Dew today. I've got my whole life ahead of me. Titties! Boner pills! Midgets! Sports cars! Motorcycle stunts! The next time that girl shakes her ass in my direction, I'll be hard as a missile leaking radiation, and my Axe body spray will make her wet as a Middle-Eastern oil field.

Yeah, this is how I misspent my youth.