Sorry, kid! According to most branches of Christianity, animals don't have souls! And according to the godless liberal heathen propagandists who run public schools, neither do you!

When you die, you'll wanna do blow with John Belushi, but no you are going to be stuck hanging out with Quackie.


Who am I kidding? Angel duck as companion sound pretty cool.

I love the little crucifix made of popsicle sticks.

You have to marvel at the lack of self-awareness that comes from using heaven exactly like the 'farm upstate where Rover went to live but we can't visit him', and still thinking it's real.

The concepts of the afterlife presented by religions these days show a complete lack of imagination.

"You get a bunch of virgins, sex, earthly delights, a mansion, etc."
"Why? My body's dead. I should basically be able to control my own reality here, and if I could, why would I pander to a reward system that's currently rotting or being cremated? Come to that, what am I thinking and sensing with?"
"Uh... we made you a new body!"
"With all the limitations of the previous one? Seriously? Fuck, you guys give fewer upgrades per iteration than Apple does!"

I hate to break it to you, kid, but your Quackie got sick from being a little gang rapist to the Quackettes around him. He's going to hell.

What's with all the negativity in the comments? For fuck's sake, people, the poor kid's duck is dead. Show a little respect.

Did anyone else notice that the kid also arrives in heaven as a child? As in, he's about to die soon? Kind of shitty, if you ask me.

If consciousness continues past death and there is a greater reality free of the laws of our physical universe, then fuck yes I would want a duck companion. It would be a loving reminder that absurdity is a human invention.