Other world religions are wrong because they don't deal with the reality of the christian afterlife or something.

This would make as much sense if the plane were a dragon.

I was really hoping they'd jump out and get sucked into the flaming jet engine

So are Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort boning, or what?

He loves this analogy and he's started flat out banning people on his facebook who point out that if other people are bothering to check with the pilot and finding out that the plane is fine then why should they listen to him?

Fundies: valuing fear over good deeds.

Oh, the old fool left the comments section up. I might need to bookmark this one.

but... there isn't a such thing as the laurel of gravity, you literally just made that up

So, the analogy for going to Heaven is a device humans created to avoid the reality of death. Got it.

So, let me try to understand this analogy:

Life is a plane ride, and God is the pilot. Everything seems to be totally fine, maybe a little turbulence here and there, except that there are like a TON of little safety pamphlets in the seat pouch in front of you, and a bunch of them SWEAR that the Pilot is super pissed, and is deliberately nose-diving your flight into some mountains. WTF, right?

The problem is, none of the pamphlets agree on why the Pilot is pissed at you, or what to do about it. According to one, it's because you ordered the pork chop entree; according to another, it's because the first two passengers he let on the plane broke one of the rules and he's so ticked off that he's going to smush EVERYONE on board just to fuck with them.

They each say there are parachutes available if you bribe the right flight attendants, but each also says the other pamphlet is lying. Everywhere around you, people are reading these pamphlets and freaking. The fuck. Out. They're even getting into fights about it, convinced they chose the right way to get a parachute, even though as far as we can tell, nobody's even seen anybody get one yet.

Thing is, aside from the pamphlets, there's absolutely no sign that anything is wrong on the flight. It's blue skies out the window, ETA is more or less on time, and the captain hasn't even said a damn thing over the intercom this whole time. For all we know we could be on autopilot.

Is that the idea? Because if so, screw parachutes, I'm just going to watch two episodes of Parks and Recreation and take a nap like I usually do.