Half of these guys should be busy playing bingo, not doing "political" commentary.

Charles Krauthammer looks like a rejected makeup design for 'The Creature' in Frankenstein.

While sitting in my study, seated in my brown leather Georgian high backed wing chair, surrounded by dark stained oak bookcases and the mounted heads of game I slew in countries that I can't even pronounce, and half of which no longer exist, I learned the upsetting news that Mitt Romney had lost the election.

My trusty manservant, who I assume is from India, and who's name I never bothered to learn, but for expediency I call "Gunga Din", broke the news to me while I was enjoying a snifter of VSOP cognac.

As he uttered those fateful words, my hands failed me and I spilled the dusky liquid and shattered my glass upon the snout of my polar bear skin rug. "What shall become of Doomstein?!" I bellowed, staggering to my feet, then running and flailing my arms like ma man who had just come aflame.

By the time I had come to my senses Gunga Din had prepared the hot air balloon and we set off with a suitcase full of bearer bonds and my fanciest pipes to begin our life anew on 'Billionaire Island!'

Of all the people in this video, the Mexican warlock was by far the most credible.

Dick Morris owns more colorful shirts than Jay Gatsby.

Wayne Allyn Root is my favorite. I wanna go visit his spot on the Las Vegas Sidewalk of Stars.

If the Republican talking heads were this wrong about an election, what else COUD they be wrong about I wonder? Maybe one day they'll put on big boy pants and learn that reality doesn't care how you feel so you might as well accept it.

I wonder too how many we're getting paid to lie, or if they actually believed it.

Protip: Never flood the media with the message of "were going to landslide win this thing"
If candidate X is going to landslide, why bother voting?

Still delight me, nearly a month after the election. Am I a bad person?

"Let's look at the elephant in the room..."

*cut to Karl Rove*

wrong.

Just when I thought I'd never use my DVD burner again, this happens.

Just when I thought I'd never enjoy giving a Christmas gift again, this happens.

I think I've developed an addiction to conservative tears.