|Snakeweapon - 2012-11-30 |
Just a few observations/suggestions
1. You aren't even close to being on time here.
2. "I'm a hybrid individual/My flow is your reciprocal" makes no sense whatsoever. The word you may have been looking for is 'receptacle', and even then, it's a terrible line which doesn't make sense.
3. "Foolish dreams like a Puppeteer; the game of Pinnochio" is also nonsense. Pinnochio is a fictional character, not a game at all. 'Pinochle' or 'Crokinole' or 'Tic-tac-toe' are actual games that would have fit the rhyme scheme and would have served as more coherent similes.
4. For fuck's sakes why aren't you improving at all? This is your four hundredth submission here and it is still as piss-poor as the other three hundred and ninety-nine.
If I could provide some suggestions here, it would be to ask that you spend some time practising basic language skills, learn how to properly level your mixes and use a pop filter, and to spend more time in general practising in battles/cyphers and with other people in real life rather than putting every dry queef you emit, like this one, online. Believe it or not, these submissions of yours will embarrass the shit out of you one day.
*pullin strings like a puppeteer
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