They sat you down and explained that in the middle of a FPS grayed out war zone that animals of some kind would show up in a mini van and dance. When faced with that, you chose parakeets instead of murdering everyone in the building and setting it on fire.

this warzone commercial is an iteration of a pre-existing hamster ad campaign, which I assume is the one cognitive is talking about

Just wait another year or two, and we'll be getting actual, unavoidable commercials of this nature in our actual games, where some annoying characters pull a walk-on, say their bit and shill their product, and you can't even shoot them. When that day comes, I will blame you, cognitivedissonance.

I did what any man could do in such a situation. I did what was enough to stay sane. To stay... ALIVE.

Front butts.

Just imagine what it was like for the people who had to wear those costumes and dance. I imagine they were relived when the effects people finally covered their faces with hamsters.